4 Quadrants of Communication Technique

4 Quadrants of Communication Technique

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Training originally by Shari Weller, ENVP and Kim Miles, NVP Independent Consultants

How to Get to “Yes” in Less than a Minute!
How to say the right thing,
how to be confident talking to everyone,
how to ask for what you want, and
how to use these four quadrants of communication to get the results you desire.

The Four Quadrants: 

    ▣ Facts : anything indisputable that both parties can agree on 

    ▣ Belief : what you believe 

    ▣ Feeling : how you feel emotionally 

    ▣ Ask : ask for what you want

We usually, only use 2 quadrants
when we communicate.
Women usually use feeling and belief and
men usually use facts and belief.

We all sometimes confused our beliefs with facts.
We get so passionate about
what we’re saying
that we sometimes think they are facts and
what most of us tend to forget is
to simply ask for what we want.

Fact:

Facts are indisputable and agreed upon by both parties.
Known to be true. Could also be from previous conversations.

Examples: 
We’ve been friends for 10 years. 
As you know, I have my own Arbonne business. 
I have left you several messages. 
You mentioned you were unhappy at work. 
You mentioned you would like more time with your kids and your family. 
You mentioned you’d like to help your spouse retire.

Belief:
Beliefs are your opinion; not facts.

Examples: 
You think this business would be great for somebody. 
This business could help you stay at home with your family. 
This is the best way to earn an extra income. 
I think these products are the best products every and everyone should be using them.  I think working together again would be great.

Feeling:

It’s the emotional part.

Examples: 

I’m so excited to be talking about sharing this business with you. 

I’m feeling a little bit nervous to talk to you. 

I’m a little frustrated… 

I’m feeling a little intimidated but I really want to share this with you  I’m feeling a little uncertain…

Ask:

Asking for what you want.

Key to asking is to be really clear on

what you want and then stop talking.

Typically we ask for what we want and then

we go back and put in a bunch of beliefs.

Examples: 

I want you to listen to hear more about Arbonne. 

I want you to meet for coffee so I can tell you more about what I’m doing. 

I want you to come to a discover Arbonne meeting. 

I want you to host an event. 

I want you to try a sample. 

I want to ask you to give me a referral.

Then STOP talking so they have a chance to answer you!

Before talking to someone:

Take these 4 quadrants and

jot down a few notes

before you talk to them.

These are in no particular order;

you can start with feelings, belief,

or even asking for what you want.

Examples using all 4 quadrants: 

Feeling-Belief-Fact-Ask:

Mary, I am so excited for you

to learn more about Arbonne.

I believe I’ve found a way for us

both to get out of corporate America,

and I know you mentioned you hate your job.

And so what I want is for you to come to

an Arbonne meeting with me Wednesday night

to learn more. (Then stop and let her answer.) 

Fact-Feeling-Belief-Ask:

Sherri, I know you’ve heard about Arbonne and

 I know you’ve said “no” to me several times and

 I’m really disappointed that

you’re not doing this business with me,

but I do believe that

you’ve got a really great network,

and really what I want is for you to give me 2 names of people

who you think would be great at this business.

(Then stop and let her answer!)

This is about having 30 second conversations

where you’re looking to get “yeses” along the way,

and by using all four quadrants

you will get a yes.

The worksheet to use to jot down notes

before you talk to someone is on the following page…

Use this worksheet

to jot down some facts, beliefs, feelings,

and what you want to ask

before you talk to someone.

Fact	Belief
Feeling	Ask